“Kelly, everything with you is just so intense...there are problems in the world...there have always been problems in the world, you can’t force anyone to change and you can’t fix everything.”
He is full of frustration. His brow is furrowed almost in disbelief...there is a profound sense of worry, concern and loss.
“Where is my Kelly the one who told me not to worry so much...that my joy was all the world needed?”
Right now I’m seeing his pure love and I’m seeing myself through his eyes.
I can’t push back because… he’s right.
For the first time ever I can feel the tension and the weight of the burden of being who I have been my entire life... someone who sees what’s broken in our society and feels a need to fix it. The weight of that, the sorrow is unsustainable, and that deep sorrow is not good for me and I know it.
As he looks at me I can hear my mother’s voice—from when i was a kid.—when she started worrying about me. ”Baby, you gotta to learn how to work with joy…”